oh my glitter

i am so proud of you!!!

i am keeping my faith for me too, you are an inspiration my dear. thank you for this post. you look so wonderful, alive with light and love and life!!! nothing better. i want this too. how did you manage the weight gain? i need to do this for myself, very bad. where did you go for treatment? how gradual did they allow you to gain weight and how did you get over the nasty thoughts along the way?


your answers will bring me hope and insight.

i am holding up, working on myself with daily struggles but trying, not giving up... my health isn't so good, read my lj for what is going on with me - otherwise, i am happy to be alive and happy you are here too and working so hard!

and butts are great
i've always wanted a "real one"

your post made my night

please post more like this

i hope a shitload of people see it
because it will bring alot of hope

Well, first of all let me tell you that you are a big inspiration for me.
I was struggling too much, specially bc im at the point in live where i have to figure out my career, what i want to do.....i decided i wanted to live. i tried increasing my caloric intake.. i usually had 300 cals... i tried incresing it to 500 cals, i thought that little y little it'd work.
it didnt. it made my anxiety out of control.
i knew the key is to learn how to tolerate your anxiety... tolerate the thoughts. You are the only one in control of your actions.
increasing my caloric intake was going to give me the same anxiety as eating normal...so i decided to cut anorexia cold turkey.

i seriously decided, after i got my award letter to the scholarship to study in france this summer, that i wanted to experience life...see if i like it whats teh worse that can happen? you dont like it, ok.. at least you tried. the next day i got my scholarship i decided i was going to eat like a normal person.
i did, i cried eating, i cried bc i was uncomfortable, bc my body was sore, didnt know what to do with teh food...retaining water blhablha.
not only that but my mind was driving me insane. ...but you control your actions. if you have lunch and you force yourself to keep it regardless of what you may feel, the next time it gets easier.
......magically everything starts falling into place.
the hardest week i think it'd be the 2 and 3rd one. specially bc your body doesnt know what the fuck to do with teh food & your body acts kinda weird.. but if you keep on feeding it it adjusts. it begins to heal & to trust you again.
i started going to the gym too. always making sure i was ATLEAST eating like a normal person.
i tried to eat more protein, healthy...
your body starts functioning again, you see things differently, other things become more important that bones and a numbers on the scale.
all you really need to do is take a blind leap of faith...do what you knwo its right no matter how you feel...then everything starts getting easier & the impossible becomes possible.

dont give up, i want you to join me!! you have so much to offer to this world!
please take care, you're always in my thoughts.

sorry for the obsessive comments but
can i please post this link in my lj

i'd like to allow it to reach out to
others, i have a ton of people who
read my lj...

if not, i understand

yes. go ahead. feel free!

wonderful, i just posted the link

sweetie, did you refeed without medical supervision? if so, thank GOD you didn't have any bad reactions. it is extremely dangerous to refeed without supervision. i hope you have medical help throughout your journey. it's majorly needed.

i am amazed by your willpower, keep fighting!!!

yes, i did.
my body was a mess for like 2 weeks.
i retained liquid like crazy & it was hard to continue eating...i was also super constipated...but i wore baggy clothes & tried to not let it get to me. I also had horrible indigestion, my stomach was barely making any acid.
im still seeing my psychologist and psychiatrist... its funny bc you think once you begin refeeding ur body again the journey is over... but you have to start dealing with so many other things that were just underlying...
please take care of yourself... you're always in my thoughts.
be strong.

sweetie, it's called edema from refeeding syndrome and it's very dangerous. it can stop your lungs, heart, brain. i went through EXTREME edema where i couldn't even walk and had to be medically monitored 24/7 for a long time, it was very severe. i am glad you came out okay and still not going through it. i went through it for MONTHS to even get the water flushed out, over 40lbs of water weight in 1 week, it was that rapid. anyhow, i love you!

omg, wow, johnny....
im sorry you had to go thru such a horrible experience.
i think of you everyday & send you the most positive thoughts.
keep on fighting, you're my hero & heroine.<3

yay butts! i have one now too :) you are a total babe, and its fantastic to hear (and see, based on how confident and happy you look in the pics) that you know it.

I'm so glad to hear you're doing well!

Lots of love, Luisa :-)

thank you dear. hope ur doing well too.

Luisa.. I have tear in my eyes. I am SO happy that you're here and you're feeling better!
That is amazing!!
And your post is so true. Not until you get healthy do you really see the truth and mature and see exactly how terrible you were being to yourself!

I'm so excited for you!
*BIIIIG HUG*

You look wonderful and im incredibly proud of you. Are you doing recovery on your own or do you have a treatment team?

im still going to my therapist, psychiatrist...
i did it on my own, i didnt wanna have to deal with the guilt of making my fam spend money on IP...i went to weekly appts & now i only see them twice a week. ive even stopped going to my nutritionist bc im eating pretty well & i think my weight has settled!
im not super happy about my body, but ive never been... now im putting all my energo to shapping my body nicely by going to teh gym.
i go everyday. i have to say muscle improves your body in the in & outside.
i hope you're doing well. please fight.
i think of you a lot!

:))) you're wonderful. i'm so glad things are going well and that you're feeling better and happier.
i've missed you!
dude and that trip to europe truly seems incredible.

thank you, dear!
ive missed you too, i still think of you maybe daily:)
how are you doing??

I love you, Dear Luisa! You are so beautiful and amazing. This post makes me smile, and I am looking forward to hearing about all of your adventures in Europe! Keep fighting, and keep smiling. You are going to make it, and you are inspiration to all. ♥

i still smoke pot daily....

what have i done?? ;)

i am so glad for you, my luisa. you have come so far.
continue to drop the bullshit and put it - all of it - (including bulimia) behind you. i'm so happy to see you finally embracing life and yourself in it. don't doubt your choice. your path has brought you here. from here, you finally have the control that you were fooled into looking for in the wrong place...control not of your life so much as of how you are going to live it.

i love you dearest.

u've created a monster, lol.
fuck i love you.

by the way, have you read Les memoirs d' Herculine Barbin? if not, do so! please!
intense, dude.'

how are you doing, my little warrior?
omg, im seeing a boy.................i shall tell u about it later.
i love you!

P.S. when i switched to this account instead of auracle, i wanted to start fresh and not have negative posts.
naturally, sometimes i need to post something less than positive, but i've been diligent in trying to keep triggering things behind an lj-cut. so, hopefully, you can read my journal without being triggered.

didn't you say you'd created a new account? whitney's right, we should re-connect with lj in a positive way, that would be so cool. imagine we all updated and replied as often in a community that was positive as we did in proanamovement? that would rock.

either way i love you like whoa.

<3.

You look fantastic.
I'm so happy for you! You deserve to feel good about yourself and you deserve to be happy.
Your post made me smile from ear to ear!
Have fun on your trip hun xx

thank you, sweetie.
im so happy to know it is possible.
i always felt like there wasnt any hope.
i hope ur doing well too <3

I read this entry from the link in Johnny's journal. Your struggle and power to overcome is truly inspirational. You look fabulous and I hope your life continues to offer you more and more healthy, happy, surprising experiences along the way. Best of luck to you. ♥

thank you very much,.
i really appreciate your comment.
ive been in recovery for 3 months & ive been getting so many rewards for it...im excited to see what life will bring me..
im luisa by the way :) nice to meet you.
have a great day!

You look so beautiful in recovery... I as well find this quite inspirational and amazing.

thank you very much.
i appreciate that:)